a modern woman. I may look unclean sometimes. Some
men think I'm hairy. I tell them to go to hell. But
I like Frank Sinatra. And I believe in stardust. I
believe in lots of things. Will you tell me what I
I have one word for you. Gilette. I know it seems
strange. A woman shaving, I mean. But many women do
it, every day! You know those women you see with hairless
legs, they weren't born that way. When you say hairy,
do you mean hairy like a peach or hairy like a wild
boar? You know women often like hair? Maybe you should
try for one of them. I hope you don't believe in superheros
because they don't exist. And one more thing, Frank
Sinatra is square. If you want to be cool you should
try listening to someone like Celine Dion. Only old
people listen to Frank Sinatra.
I want to be a man. But I'm a boy. Men are big. I
am small. Please help me.
boything. Don't worry. Someday you'll be a man. Unless
you are already a man and look like a boy. Or perhaps
you have not yet matured. Maybe you're a late bloomer.
Maybe your peepee is small. I don't know. In any case.
It's alright. Look for something beautiful. In beauty
you find size doesn't matter as much. It might to
her or him or whatever you like but it won't to you.
Because it's beautiful baby. That's why you love it.
Because it's all about you. And that's how it has
to be. Don't worry about your partner. Forget about
her or him or it. Because if you go to a bar and light
up a cigarette that's enough. Cigarettes are cool.
Chicks dig them. Do little things like rub honey all
over yourself and walk around making sounds like a
peacock. Girls love it. Of course maybe you like boys.
Maybe you're really a dog who learned how to write.
I'll never know because of this beautiful barrier
they've set up between you and me.
Once I drove a caddilac around the country and I was
happy. People respected me because I was driving and
always going somewhere. Then I turned into a horse
and all that changed.
This is freaky. I put these together to show you that
animals are learning how to speak and that past lives
exist. There. That's proof. I got a letter from a
horse. Horsey. If you can read listen to me, alright?
I think you're beautiful. But you already knew that.
I just wanted to say that maybe you should end your
life right now, if you're really a human inside a
horse's body. Do hari kari or something. Lay down
on a throw rug and somehow you could slit your throat
or something. I know you don't have thumbs my friend
but you can write. Goddamit you can write! and if
you can do that you can end your life. Do it. Like
the lemmings. Do it now!